BABY I was Born this Way!

Go ahead- Guess which one is me!  Yep that's right, the one with the pink 2 piece suite who seems to think she is posing for the cover of a fashion magazine.

Its been about a month since I finished fashion school.  For someone that thrives under stress and chaos, a month is a very long time to be alone with your own thoughts.  And it is an extremely long time to sit around and read all of the online statements by fashion students from around the world who are struggling to find a job.
Just as I was starting to get discouraged by the lack of response I was getting to my countless job applications, Oprah came through for me.
I was driving this morning and the station I was listening to was playing clips from her final show.  Her final words really moved me and got me thinking about my place in this world and what I was supposed to be doing.

In a nutshell she said this:
Follow your calling.  Everyone on this planet has a calling.  You might not get paid for it, it might not be glamorous, but every one has a calling.  So follow your joy.

For one reason or another, I was slapped in the face by a memory of a video that was taken of me when I was 3 or 4.
There I was, chubby little Trisha, in her JEM and the Holograms night gowned.  Braided pigtails and way-to-thick bangs!  I sat on one of those fuzzy chairs that every kid has sat in at one point or another (See Below)




I was holding something, maybe a hair brush, and giving an interview to myself.  
WORD FOR WORD this is what I said:  "Hello. I am a little girl, and I am always fashionable,  ALWAYS FASHIONABLE!" I went on to detail how I was following all of the latest trends, which involved me flipping my pigtails with more sass than any three year old should ever have.
This got me thinking about other random childhood memories.  I started thinking about the first dress I ever designed, a spaghetti strapped sun dress with peace signs all over it.  I remembered being in my Nana's basement.  The house was full with my crazy Italian family, Aunts, Uncles, and all of my cousins.  It must have been late 90's because I remember my Dad loosing his mind when I started cat walking to "I'm to Sexy".  I would just go bananas when that song came on.
In an effort to calm me down, someone usually had a back up pen and paper.  I would sit for hours and draw stick men with dresses.  No Hands, No Feet, JUST DRESSES!

So back to Oprah.  Everyone has a calling.  I really feel like the best way to define that calling, is to reflect on who you were as a child, before the real world got it's paws on you.   Before you were worried about money, or status, or bills.
 So I took a little walk down memory lane.  Went through old birthday cards, sketch book drawing, and notes from Jr.High  I found a drawing that one of my best friends did when we were 12.  It was of my first boutique.  Hilariously called "La Trisha Boutique" (Because everything is cooler in French apparently)
As I searched through years of debris, I read words from people that said things like "I'm so proud of you for following your dreams"  and "You were meant for this".
 And just when I thought I had lost it,  there it was.  My calling.

In an industry filled with "No", "Can't", and "Don't"  it's easy to loose sight of  "Yes" "Can" and "Do".  Sometimes people think they are doing you a favor when they tell you "How hard it is out there".  But here is what I think:
Its really hard to hear whats calling you, when your listing to other people's noise.
That's my Oprah moment.  

  


My Legs  be achin' from the dreams I be chasin'

Two years ago I woke up one morning and decided to move across the country to go to fashion school.  Not even two weeks ago I was in the final lap of that race.  Some how, by the grace of the universe, I managed to make it through.   Its funny how not even 14 days ago I thought I would die from lack of sleep or caffeine overdose, and now I'm leisurely writing about it on a sunny patio still clutching an oversized and over priced coffee.

BUSTED: After 3 days of no sleep I grabbed a large piece of fabric and fell asleep on a table at school.  

I often compare fashion school to a bad high-school boyfriend.  At the time you thought he was so horrible for forgetting your 2 week anniversary or giving you a CD that belonged to his ex-girlfriend, but looking back you realize that all of the bad things weren't really that bad.  You realize that the really hard shit actually just made you stronger.  And you realize that all of the good things are what you cherish the most.  The successes you had far out weigh the disappointments.   

This is the most important thing I learned in school:

Human beings need sleep!  Its just part of our system.  As integral as food or water.  But a funny thing happened when I awoke from the hibernation I was in for the last two weeks.  I realized that there was a whole in my heart where the stress used to be.  I'm currently searching for something to fill the void.  I'm not sure, but I think that thing might be writing.  Sharing my experiences and perspective with other like minded people.   

 Let me give you a little perspective on what this journey was like.....

My Account of my first day at school- Written Tuesday, September 8, 2009 

So today was my first day of Fashion school. It could only be described as a direct reenactment of every scene in the 1996 classic, CLUELESS. 

I drove on the free way for the first time in my life holding on to the stearing wheel for dear life.  Coming from Winnipeg, I had never driven past 50 KMH.  Oh and one more thing, I had only passed my driving test about a month earilier.  A driving test administored by a man in his late 40's that I basically sweet talked into passing me.  You know how they are suposed to fail you if they have to grab the wheel?  Aparently not if your wearing a short skirt and a low top!  

Back on to the highway.    I talked to myself the whole way. "Alright Trisha there is a red semi on the right, and a huge mother of a van on your left....now get in-front of it" then I would talk shit to the high way... "Thats right , I GOT THIS" 

I got to school in a pool of sweat and had to reapply my deodorant in the parking lot. I later realized that the reason why people were flipping me off and honking at me was becuse the speed limit is 100 KMH.  I was going 60.

The parking lot was a whole other ball game. Thank god for my Winnipeg licence plates b/c they got me so much help, and the parking patrol guy told me to not worry about paying when the machine ate all of my loonies. 

The classes were sweet and my fashion drawing instructor was the quintessential "Cool teach" That tells you to take your textbook and rip it up. 

In my textiles class we had to go around and say our name.  I felt the need to share a little more.

 "Hi I'm Trisha Petrovich, and I drove on the freeway for the first time today". 

The whole class slow clapped awkwardly as if to say "who the hell is this chick". 

After my first class I was starving. I walked out of my class room and right into a huge poster that said "Stop Darwin Lies" a ANTI evolution rally. At first I thought it was a joke, and then I realized it was a CRAZY campus christian group. GREAT! 

 As I left my class I followed the sound of bad university radio and the smell of cheese burgers. I managed to find myself in the line for said cheeseburgers (don't know how that happened). I grabbed one, stood there eating it and pretended I was looking for my friends (Like I had super eyes that could see back to Winnipeg).

 I approached some hippy dudes (not smelly hippy, more of hipsters really). I asked them where I could find some coffee. The one guy replied by saying "AAAH if you could drill a whole like right underneath me that is where it would be" OKAY THANKS CHEECH! FML

So I made my way to the "cafeteria". I say it in parenthesis b/c I've never been to a school cafeteria that had its own Starbucks coffee bar and on site sushi chef. SOLD!

I don't know if it was the 3 cups of coffee I had before the ride home, but man was that a scary mother of a drive, The only good part was when free bird came on the radio and I sang along "DDDDDRRRRRIIIIVVVVEEEE ON FFFFFFFRRRREEEEEE BIIIIRDDDDD"   Luckily for me someone had told me that the outside lane was for slow moving traffic.     I stayed in that lane the whole way home.

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